


- in nuce - in a nutshell -

by otter



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-14
Updated: 2011-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-22 15:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otter/pseuds/otter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney are stuck in an elevator. How ever will they pass the time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	- in nuce - in a nutshell -

"Well," Rodney said. "This is just perfect. Suddenly I've stepped into a cliche sitcom. All we need to complete this picture is a pregnant woman."

John poked at the control panel next to the door, pushing random buttons -- the elevator ignored him and continued not-moving -- and said, "Huh? I don't want to hear about your kinks, Rodney. Seriously."

Rodney said, "Huh?" back, and then, "You are a sick-minded man, Colonel," and then, "Oh, for God's sake, stop poking at it. There's no power, so your impression of a five-year-old -- as stunningly accurate as it is -- isn't going to do us any good."

John ran a hand through his hair, finally -- mercifully -- stepped away from the buttons, and said, "Well, you're the science guy. Can't you fix it?"

Rodney sighed his oh-my-god-idiots sigh, and said, "No _power_ , Colonel. The emergency brakes are engaged, we're between floors, and Sergeant Siler was telling me something ominous yesterday about security countermeasures involving electricity."

John squinted up at the ceiling, eyeing the access hatch, and said, "They electified their elevators?"

"Don't know," Rodney said. He sat down against the wall like he was settling in for the duration. "And I'm really not interested in finding out." He was already taking inventory of available supplies like he thought this was a long-term survival situation, and he was obviously impressing himself with the sheer volume of detrius he'd managed to accumulate in the course of a single day. John blamed it on the SGC-standard garrison BDUs they were both wearing, which offered a tempting over-abundance of pockets. John had used his to store a packet of cookies -- which would remain his secret until he needed to call upon them as his secret weapon -- and Rodney was emptying his pockets onto the floor, laying out six energy bars, three notepads, eight pens, a folding pocket tool, his PDA, and an assortment of less useful objects including scraps of paper, napkins, paperclips, three rubber bands, and an empty Darth Vader Pez dispenser that he looked at funny and said, "Where did this come from?"

"Shouldn't we be getting out of here?" John said, but he was already sliding down the wall and onto the floor, his shoulder pressed against Rodney's. He leaned over to inspect the Pez dispenser, which Rodney was still staring at with a very puzzled look on his face.

Rodney said, "There are jurisdictional issues to consider," tossed Vader to the floor, started stuffing things back into his pockets and offered John an energy bar, because he was magnanimous like that.

"Jurisdictional?" John repeated. He tore open the bar wrapper and offered Rodney half, which by the look on Rodney's face was kind of touching and kind of stupid, because hadn't Rodney just given it to him in the first place, and wouldn't he have kept it if he'd wanted any?

"Mmm," Rodney said, around a mouthful of his own energy bar, which he waved at John as if to say, hello, I don't need half of yours, you self-sacrificing idiot. "The SGC is staffed by an incredibly large number of people who've been saving the world for years. They'd probably get cranky if we implied that they're not capable of managing an alien invasion without us."

"Oh," John said. He chewed his energy bar thoughtfully.

"Which is not to say that the people here are as capable as we are," Rodney elaborated. "But they do seem to be tremendously lucky. I mean, they haven't blown up the planet yet, so." He shrugged, and made a happy little humming sound around his energy bar. John resisted the urge to echo it; those things were actually pretty good, and they hadn't had any new flavors on Atlantis in forever.

"Right," John said, a little doubtfully.

"It'll be fine," Rodney said. "They've got Colonel Carter, and she's almost as smart as I am. And Teal'c, the big alien guy? Way stronger than you. And that new guy seems okay, but is it just me or do he and Jackson look like long-lost twins or something?" He frowned, like he was trying to puzzle it out, and then said, "Maybe he came through the Quantum Mirror from some universe where Jackson had a brother. Or maybe he was created by some alien gene-sampling device. Or maybe--"

"Maybe it's just a coincidence and there are a lot of guys in the world with brown hair and blue eyes," John said, slanting a pointed look at Rodney's own coloration.

"And maybe noticing what color their eyes are makes you just a little bit gay," Rodney said.

John snorted and said, "I think that thing you did with your tongue last night is what makes me just a little bit gay."

Rodney paused mid-chew; his eyes went wide and he said, "Really?"

John sighed, tipped his head back against the elevator wall and tried not to remember the incident in too much detail, because the last thing he needed right now was a deeply inappropriate erection. "It was kind of awesome," he admitted.

Rodney said, "Huh," and stared at the opposite wall for a second, like he was processing the thought, and then he said, "You know, there's this other idea I had that I've been wanting to try--"

John said, "No," very firmly, because he didn't even want to hear about this idea, because it was guaranteed to cause him self-control problems, or otherwise end with the elevator coming back to life and the doors opening to a corridor full of people just as John came in Rodney's mouth.

And thinking about why he shouldn't think about it was really, really not helping the deeply inappropriate erection prevention plan.

"But I thought if I did this kind of like, twist and then--"

"No," John said. And they were quiet for a moment, until curiosity got the better of him and he said, "Twist and then what?"

"Nothing," Rodney said, sullenly. "Forget I said anything."

"Come on, Rodney," John said. "Now I'm curious."

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the wall. "Not important," he said, jutting his chin up, and now he was just being _mean_.

"Alright," John said. "Fair enough. This is hardly the time or the place." And he let that thought settle for a little while, let the near-public setting really soak into Rodney's big perverted brain -- right here inside the SGC, and he defied Rodney to tell him that _that_ wasn't a turn-on -- and then said, "Of course, if it were _me_ , I think I'd kind of, you know... twist a couple of times, go deep, pull back and--"

"Are we talking about blowjobs or figure skating?" Rodney interrupted. "Because there is not nearly enough tongue in that plan. God, do I always have to do all the thinking for you? Or are you one of those guys who just has to learn by doing? Problems with theoretical analysis?" Rodney fumbled to his feet, punting a few energy bars across the lift, and started undoing his belt.

"Rodney," John said, in that slow way he had that was both amused and bemused and occasionally a little bit musing.

"John," Rodney said, in that impatient way he had that implied there were better uses for John's mouth. He had his pants open now, and just stood there with his boxers still on and his fly hanging open, pulled by the weight of his belt, and he was looking at John like he was expecting something.

"I'm not blowing you in a public elevator in our place of work," John said, very firmly. "Also, I do prefer to learn by doing, but I think that bearing that in mind, it would make more sense for you to first demonstrate this theoretical technique of yours. Learn to lead by example, Rodney."

Rodney looked down at him and said, "Hmm," like he was really thinking about it, and then, "I can't fault that logic, actually." So he dropped to his knees, with his pants still hanging open, and set to work on John's belt instead.

John watched him do it, tried to muster up the courage to _stop_ him from doing it, and said, "Um, Rodney. I'm still not having sex with you in an elevator."

"Okay," Rodney said. "Imagine some exotic setting, if that's your thing." Then he paused, with his fingers still on John's fly, and said, "As long as it's not that one planet... you know, with the girls who wear little grass skirts and nothing else? You're not allowed to go to _that_ happy place."

John said, " _Rodney,_ " and made an extremely half-hearted attempt to push Rodney's hands away, but Rodney was already pulling John's dick out of his pants and bending over and just sucking it down in one smooth, hot, tight go, and John's head thumped back against the elevator wall and he could not for the life of him imagine why he'd thought this was a bad idea.

"This position's going to kill my neck, you know," Rodney said, but John was way ahead of him, already sliding all the way down the wall and onto the floor, and Rodney repositioned himself too, his weight sprawled across John's thighs and John's heel pressing into Rodney's hip. It felt good, really really good, and he couldn't think of a better way to pass the time while stuck in an elevator.

"Hey Rodney," he said. "The camera systems in here are dead too, right? With the power being out and all?"

Rodney might've said yes, or he might've said no, but either way he said it with his mouth still wrapped around John's dick, so the answer didn't technically matter very much. John ruffled his hand through Rodney's hair, which Rodney hated a lot but John _loved_ , and Rodney retaliated by pulling his mouth up and away and saying, "Do you want to learn this, or not?"

So John said, "Ungh," and kept his hands to himself, and Rodney dropped his head again and did this kind of slurping thing, and then there was twisting and then--

John thought, Oh. _Oh._ And he thought that it wasn't exaggerating to say that yes, Rodney's latest idea was actually incredibly, blindingly brilliant. But most of his ideas were.

When John came back down from that beautiful white haze where he'd been floating for a minute there -- he wondered sometimes if Ascension could happen this way -- Rodney was poking him in the chest and saying, "Well, that's the idea. In a nutshell. I hope you paid attention, because there's going to be a quiz in, oh, about two seconds."

He settled himself back on the floor, watching expectantly while John sat up, got his bearings about him, checked his hair, and then finished the job of getting Rodney's pants out of his way.

John said, "Don't worry, I'm a pretty quick study," and he ended up continuing their usual beautiful form of collaboration by adding his own improvements to the initial design.

the end


End file.
